how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
