It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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