when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize