called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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