yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wish my penis had an off switch
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
