Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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