Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
