so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
