I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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