She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize