Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
