I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
