if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
