I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
