I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
