I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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