For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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