Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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