is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
