if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
