Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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