So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Randomize
