I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize