I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
