So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
