Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
