She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
