Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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