i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
