Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
