This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
