Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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