I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
