a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
