Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
