Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
In other news, I just burned my penis
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
