so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
