don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
bring money and cleavage
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize