Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
