Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
