nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize