Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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