Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
