Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize