hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize