Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
