yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
