I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
