How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize