Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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