seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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