you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
