pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
is it fun? or sober?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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