Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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