Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
