So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
